Monday, November 2, 2009

Dear lovely one,

This turned up in the message box of my account at the Cracked.com, which provenance makes me wonder whether it's really a genuine scam, or someone faking a scam, which would presumably in some way be different. Here's the message:

From : Melanie Ibrahim
Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire

My E mail : m2009ibrahim@yahoo.co.th


Dear lovely one,
Pardon me for not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before making you this offer and it is utterly confidential and genuine by
virtue of its nature. I want someone like you to help me out after i had pray ,then believes that you are a good person and that i can stay with you for the rest of my life , am 22 years old lady , My late dad is a wealthy and successful business man before he died , My mum died when i was a baby , am the only child in the family.

Before the death of my dad , he called me secretly in the private hospital where he was admitted and inform me to run away from his house because of his blood brother, who is my uncle, It was on that day, my dad revealled to me that , it was his brother who poisoned him to this level .

Inshort, he seriously warn me to keep this money secretly because he know that, it was because of all his wealth and properties, his brother decided to kill him so that he can inherit all this properties as i am a girl , My dad disclose to me that traditionally,i don't suppose to get any of his properties because i am a girl , He said soonest, i am going to marry to another family but due to his brother wickedness and greedy, he did not disclose to him about this money ( us dollars10.5 million ) in the bank and he seriously advise me to transfer this total money to oversea account for my investment, where i will start my new life and finish my education , Because of this reason, i am soliciting your assistance for the claim and transfer to your bank account for the business.

Honestly speaking , i am ready to give you 15percent of this total money for your assistance and with extra 5percent for your expenses on phone call, please u reply me now if really serious to help me out so that i can tell you more about my intention.

Anyway,you can not understand anything now because it is a long story but please and please for God sake , reply me so that i can tell you more about myself and the transfer.

Best Regards,

Melanie Ibrahim

Perhaps I should reply her now since ,after all, not only can I not understand anything now but she ,did apologize for not having the pleasure of knowing my mindset and it, is an utterly confidential offer and genuine by virtue of its nature.

Something about the thoroughly mangled grammar, the whimsically placed commas, and the fact that this is showing up in a Cracked.com message box, however, all seem almost too ideally comical. I suspect, in other words, that whoever sent this message hoping for gullible replies to serve their own purposes is not in fact the person sending the message hoping for gullible replies to serve their own purposes that they are purporting to be.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Welcome to Wherever You Are

Humor me for a moment and envision something: in darkened surroundings, a woman looks downward to something in her hands, something which emits a soft blue radiance, illuminating her features dramatically from below.

Not an entirely unfamiliar image, is it? You've probably seen some variation of the concept on any number of fantasy paperback covers and movie posters -- it's got to be at least as common as 'guy holding sword over head'.

Tonight I sat in the lowering evening on the porch behind a local coffee shop, and looked up at one point to see exactly this scene: soft blue radiance, dramatic underlighting, expression of slightly amused concentration. Of course, the woman I was sitting with wasn't doing anything really magical -- just using her phone to communicate with a friend across a great distance. Nothing to think twice about.

Walking home, rather toward the bus stop toward home, I passed a well-lit soccer field and saw a bunch of Mexicans playing cricket, a game I don't think I've ever previously ever actually witnessed in person.

Then I found a dime.

I went to a restaurant near home, had some beer, and managed to spend no more than five dollars more than I really should have. I got a dessert for free.

Tonight I turned thirty-six. I don't know how long my current job will last and I'm not entirely sure what's going to become of my current apartment lease. Things, in general, seem to happen almost entirely at random. But tonight has been really good.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Well, I'm Speechless

This is clearly the purpose of film.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Our Top Story Tonight: YAY

Some good, very good, nigh unto miraculously good news: I got a graphic design job! Thanks in large part to my friend Matt, to whom I now owe a big huge lobster, I've been offered a paid internship working on design and web stuff for PetsMD.com.

So for the vast multitudes who've been hanging on this ever so intriguing saga, that means I'm not going to have to leave Austin, or even leave my current apartment. This for me is happy.

For anyone who's interested in The Devil's Virtue, expect to see some positive changes there in the near future -- I need to train myself up to speed on CSS and PHP like immediately, and I might as well practice on my own site, which needs yet another makeover anyway.

So in short: got job, job good, TDV soon more good. Oh, and that thing from before where I had intended to write a Lost article at least weekly is probably out the window, at least for the next few weeks (although heck, it's not like I still have five freakin months before the last season airs).

Friday, September 4, 2009

Hail Jabootu!

Swimming around aimlessly online recently (far too listlessly and without direction to justify calling it 'surfing'), I ran across this collection of Bad Movie reviews, a topic understandably close to my heart -- these folks poke at movies even more deeply and at greater length than I do, as well as a much lower profanity percentage, so if you like that sort of thing, I recommend skidding over there. From that site I was further directed to And You Call Yourself A Scientist, which (just in my taste) is even more entertaining, hooking me in by finally articulating some of the things I loathe about the character of Ian Malcom in Jurassic Park.

But this particular post isn't just a random plug for these sites (not just); rather, I was moved to write in response to almost identical comments made by 'Lyz' and Douglas Milroy about the same movie, Exorcist II: the Heretic (which does emerge sounding like the sort of crap I might really enjoy watching). It's not a complaint, it's just that there's something about both author's expressed perplexity -- something about the thought processes and assumptions involved -- which strikes me as singularly telling about the modern mind.

Not that I'm prepared right at the moment to explicate exactly what it tells, but it's certainly indicative of something.

Anyway, there is apparently a point in Exorcist II: Ecclesiastic Boogaloo in which it is explained that Satan has sent the demon Pazuzu into the world to accomplish some dark purpose or other. Aside from the obvious -- that if you want to horrify an audience of English speakers, you might want to pick a deity of less silly-sounding name -- both of these reviews (here and here, to save you some hunter-gathering around the sites in question) point out that Pazuzu is a Mesopotamian deity, and that it is therefore odd for Satan to be in command thereof.

As Milroy puts it, "...as Pazuzu is a part of ancient Mesopotamian mythology, saying that the Judeo-Christian Satan has sent him to do something is rather like having Quetzequoatl sending a couple of Shub-Niggurath’s offspring down to the local 7-11 to fetch some beer and chips before Darmok and Jalad stop by on their way to Tanagra."

Well, this is kind of interesting. Both of these authors -- by their own descriptions (and like myself) skeptics of no religious affiliation, but with wide experience of spiritual, mystical and fantastic concepts as fiction -- approach this situation as a sort of unauthorized crossover, a conceptual confusion on the part of the makers of the film. The implication is that the Mesopotamian pantheon and the Christian God (and the Adversary thereof) are, in a sense, creatures of separate continuities; or at least, separate jurisdictions.

Very similar ideas are found all over the modern fantasy landscape -- as in White Wolf's World of Darkness, in which there literally are entirely different afterlives (with separate metaphysical rules) attached to different cultures; as in the Marvel Universe (now to be known as the Micky Marvel U, one assumes), wherein a variety of different pantheons are shown to have their own borders and subdimensions, and at times the various Sky-Father Gods are shown hanging out in a kind of UN Really Supreme Council; as in Steve Jackson Games' In Nomine, wherein the 'Ethereal' Gods are entities separate from the realms of Hell and Heaven, and have largely been subject to the exact kind of treatment at the hands of Heaven that most of the world outside of Europe have historically gotten from the blue-eyes.

So what?

Well -- and I want to emphasize that there's nothing wrong with any of this, it's just interesting -- there's a fascinating gulf of time and culture here, by which I mean that even if a movie featuring Pazuzu as a possessing force of evil had been made several decades earlier than this one, it is almost entirely impossible that any English-speaking critic would have conceived this particular quibble about it prior to maybe around the mid-1960's, and I would call it at least highly unlikely until well into the 1980's.

To the two reviewers I'm discussing, to the authors of the works mentioned above, to most of my own contemporaries and even to me, it seems entirely natural that, for example, Thor, Athena, Pazuzu and Jehovah are beings of separate context. To the extent that we allow their existence at all (as a conceit for fiction, mostly, rather than as things which actually, really really exist), it's intuitively satisfying to assume that the domain of a deity is essentially defined by the geographic and temporal boundaries of its active worshippers. When we encounter Pazuzu of Mesopotamia acting in service to Satan, it immediately and reflexively seems 'off', even laughably so.

But here's the thing: from a Christian standpoint, from a position in which the movie takes a specifically Catholic doctrine as its standing point for suspension of disbelief, there is no error here. As far as the Catholic viewpoint is concerned, Pazuzu may or may not exist, but if he does, he must necessarily be a servant of Satan -- as he's certainly not an angel, and there is not another category of supernatural being. The ancient Mesopotamians were not legitimately worshipping an alternative power to God the Father, a being having its own spiritual jurisdiction separate from God's borders; they were dupes worshipping a demon, having the misfortune of living prior to Christ's ministry to show them the truth. Taking The Exorcist and by extension its sequel (however awful it may be) on their own terms demands that the viewer understands this -- that "the power of Christ compels" even a pre-Christian deity because there is only one God, and everything that is not one of His servants is a tool of Hell.

To the creators of Exorcist II, who might find themselves forced to nod ruefully at most of the criticisms of the film found here, the side note about Pazuzu's misplacement would almost certainly be entirely baffling -- a complaint as strange and counter-intuitive to them as the conjunction of Mesopotamian and Judeo-Christian entities appears to the two internet reviewers here discussed (and, quite likely, to the overwhelming majority of people who read either these reviews or this current post of mine).

William Peter Blatty, who wrote the book upon which the first Exorcist was based, was born in 1928; William Goodhart, screenwriter of Exorcist II, in 1925; and director John Boorman in 1933. Throughout their childhood and well into maturity, even up to and past the 1977 release of E2, just about every cultural voice available in the Western world either overtly expressed or was tacitly based on one of two assumptions: either supernatural forces exist and therefore God and Satan are real, or the supernatural does not exist and therefore neither do any deities or spirits at all. The notion that other pantheons or belief systems might be considered on an equal footing with the Bible, or in even greater extremity, that some other system might be true while the Judeo-Christian one is not, is all but entirely silent until very late in the 20th century.

Not entirely absent, of course. Lovecraft notably posits a world of supernatural entities entirely separate from anything in the Christian understanding of metaphysics; occultists and early neo-pagans were certainly out there expressing their ideas at least as far back as the Romantics; and there have always been fantasists whose work is simply eccentric and sideways to Christian beliefs (as often by being muddled and poorly thought-out as by being creative and ingenious).

But in terms of the sphere of ideas available to a reasonably educated adult literate in English and not immersed in any particularly odd subcultures, the kind of curiously pragmatic approach to the supernatural which leads to the idea of Yahweh as only one of a range of beings of similar nature, all of whom have their own legitimate right (and power) to exist and to define their own systems of morality, is probably still largely found only in works which Blatty and Boorman (Goodhart having passed on in 1999) have not read or viewed, or at least not paid any serious attention to.

So what changed? A complete examination would go way beyond the scope of an idle blog entry, but I'll take a couple of stabs at the rough outlines.

The civil rights movement and the rise of cultural relativism in social sciences almost certainly laid a lot of the groundwork; certainly, the idea of a supernatural world in which the separate sovereignity of different pantheons is respected and respectable must come more naturally to people whose view of the real world has shifted away from regarding foreign cultures as intrinsically backward, misguided, ignorant or literally 'lower' on a ladder of progress which has 'Industrialized Christian Democratic Nation' at the top.

'Serious' occultists, philosophers and magicians, such as Crowley, Gardner and even Castaneda, probably made large contributions as well, if not directly, then through their influence on students and rebels of the 1960's. I would hazard, though, that the popular media of the later 20th century probably had a lot more to do with it, not by deliberately propogating ideas per se, but by building up such a voracious need for story after story, just to fill the airspace, theater screens, bookstores and comic racks, that over time more and wilder ideas almost inevitably came bubbling up, colliding and reproducing in the strange manner of the fictional. In such conditions The Ten Commandments or The Exorcist, based on Christian concepts of the supernatural, come to seem no more or less fantastic, and no more or less 'real', than Clash of the Titans or The Craft.

To go back down to specifics, the particular talking point that kicked off this bizarrely long article -- that it seems odd for Satan to command Pazuzu -- can be, not exclusively but more directly than any other one person, tracked to Gary Gygax, of all people. Say what you will about general cultural matrices and the genesis of concepts, I don't think it's going too far out on a limb to say that, among my contemporaries, Deities and Demigods did more than any other single book not only to introduce us to names and faces of various historical pantheons, but to plant the idea that these entities all have an equal degree of existence, and that they share the world and have territories between them in much the same way that human political leaders divide the material realm. By placing the Gods of the Vikings, the Egyptians, the Greeks and even the Cthulhu mythos into the same context it becomes very easy to make the jump to considering Yahweh and Satan part of the same general order of being -- and to take them no more or less seriously than any of the others.

Of course, the same book also teaches us two other important facts about Gods. First, although they may be very powerful, they can still be beaten to death by an adequately equipped party of adventurers, some of them more easily than a really tough dragon. And second, Bast has really spectacular tits.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

So, How's the Site?

Alll righty, things have been getting weird around here. I need to vacate this current apartment very soon; my roommate has plans in motion to head for New York and I have no visible means of support remaining. Whether I'll even be able to stay in Austin depends very heavily on the miracle factor of finding a better than minimum wage job around here, on which the odds are dropping with each passing day of the empty gmail box.

In an effort to impress some potential employers to whom I've sent resumes, I spent most of the last couple weeks sharpening up The Devil's Virtue, which had a fair amount of opening-day blues: after the first draft got posted it became apparent that some of the image links were broken, and the file-structure was fatally flawed as well, so I took the opportunity to streamline it a bit -- tightening the graphics and arranging it so that each page used the same table with only slight modifications, and making the file-structure somewhat more logical.

Of course, immediately after posting the 'corrected' draft I finally started researching CSS and realized that there's a truckload more that can be done to improve the site. Converting the whole thing from tables and big huge clunky HTML assembled by Kompozer over to a smoother CSS setup and tighter code composed by hand ought to cut loading times, make updating and adding pages easier, and make me look a good clip more professional to potential employers.

But I'm afraid that upgrade is going to have to wait until after I move -- to wherever the hell I'm going to end up -- and even then may be considerably delayed by concerns of more basic survival. For the moment, The Devil's Virtue is on a 'good enough for now' status, but I am cooking up the CSS update when I can find the moments. Right now, though, my prime concern is getting this apartment cleaned up and cleaned out, and packing my stuff for a move which might have to happen very quickly in the next couple of weeks. I'm already down to very little more than the things I most want to keep, and if I can't salvage anything else from this situation, at the very least I really don't want to end up losing all my possessions this time.

In the process of packing I've finally gone through my file cabinet and boxes of unsorted notes, and sorted out a fat accordion file of everything pertaining to the projects which already have slots on the Projects section at TDV, so I've got lots of material to add to that section -- once I have time to convert it all over from handwritten notes, and find a scanner for the miscellaneous sketches. Again, though, it may be quite some time before any of that arrives online. In the meantime I hope folks enjoy what's already available on the site, and for that matter, I hope anyone shows up to enjoy it in the first place.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Lost in the Interim

Lost won't be back until February, so there's time to write up a few speculations about the upcoming season before it airs. This week: The Dead Pool.

***SPOILERS***
do not proceed unless you've seen all the way through season 5
or don't care.

Given the show's less than straightforward approach, the dead pool has a few complications of its own. The last question we'll get to is which characters have the least chance of surviving to the end of the series.

Before that, though, we've got to figure out who has a chance of being alive at the beginning of the season. A nuclear bomb does rather seem to have gone off, after all. So first up we have:

Percentage chance character will be alive at the end of the first episode of season six

Juliet: 90% No really, I'm serious. I'm pretty sure of this, since I'm also reasonably sure that we've seen another character live through exactly the same thing: not just a nuclear explosion, but one going off in the face of whatever the hell kind of 'electromagnetic anomaly' is under the Swan station.

In 1977, the 'incident' was not just the anomaly doing something -- it was what we've just seen happen, a bomb detonated in the shaft by Juliet and all her time-travelling crowd. Fortunately there was a bomb, meaning the anomaly didn't eat the world, so in order to contain it, the Dharma people put another nuclear bomb under the Swan bunker, where it could be detonated if something went wrong with their peculiar 108-minute containment mechanism. Where they get the bomb I'm not so sure, but it could either be the detonating charge for Jughead -- since they took that one's core explosive out, but I know at least one kind of nuclear bomb uses a smaller one to detonate the main one -- or possibly the US had another bomb on the Island.

That's what Desmond did at the end of season 2 -- and he survived, somehow, appearing in the crater where the bomb apparently went off, naked and strangely diconnected in time, but alive. So my prediction is that Juliet will be found in the same state -- though we might not find out about it for several episodes. I'm also predicting that she'll have some drama involving skipping through time and needing to find a 'constant', which will probably end up involving Sawyer.

So yeah, a high chance of survival at least to the start of season 6.

Sawyer, Kate, Jack: also 90% John Locke and Eko were at least as close to the explosion when Desmond triggered the failsafe -- and besides, please, they're not gonna kill any of these three until the series finale at least.

Miles: 50% I'm reasonably sure that he's surived the explosion, so he'll start the episode alive, but he's guaranteed to die either saving his father's life (which to be fair he has done, but I think it'll be more drawn out) or better yet, sacrifice himself to get his mother and baby Miles safely off the island. So 50% he won't have gotten around to this sacrifice by the end of the first episode, but his survival chance drops off by at least 10% for each ensuing episode.

Dr. Chang and Radzinsky: 100% We know these two survive -- Dr. Chang goes on to record the Swan video and others, while Radzinsky goes on to spend the ensuing years pressing the button in the hatch until he gets whatsisface, Clancy Brown, to replace him, then blows his own brain onto the ceiling.

John Locke: 40% He looks pretty dead at the end of the previous episode, but I'm pretty sure they aren't aiming to make a total tool out of John; if he's just dead without some kind of closure on his 'destiny' would just suck and I don't think they're going that way. I'm pretty sure that within the first few episodes we're going to see the for-real Locke walking around again, and it will probably come as a hell of a shock to this Adversary-in-black who's been impersonating him. The odds that he'll return in the premeire episode, though, I think are lower than even.

Ben: 50% And that's an 'at-best' estimate. Fake-Locke doesn't need him anymore and has good reason to keep Ben from saying anything about what happened under the statue. I don't think Ben's story is over yet, but he might end up having to finish it as one of the ghosts.

Richard Alpert: 95% I don't think he's going to die until we get at least one episode telling his backstory...which I strongly suspect begins at least as far back as ancient Egypt. Plus, I'll bet he picks 'Alpert' as a psuedonym, within the story, after reading Alpert's published work.

Hurley: 90% They're not gonna kill Hurley right away...but we'll get back to that 'right away' later.

Claire: 3% I'm pretty sure she's been dead since the later part of season 4. They'll probably hold off revealing this until a good bit later. I give her almost no chance of appearing at all in the premiere, and when she does appear we'll find out she's been dead all along.

Sayid: 20% Oh deary deary. Much as I like Sayid, I'm afraid he's a really prime target for pathos points as the last season gets rolling. He's going to get at least one more moment of being totally badass, but he's very likely to die for some extremely noble reason -- and it could well be during the premiere.

Jin and Sun: 95% I'm all but certain that they're not going to kill off either of these two, but if they do it'll be Jin. Not in the season premiere, though.

Desmond: 95% He doesn't appear to be in any immediate danger...actually, where is Desmond? In the hospital still?

All right, so that gets us through the first episode of the next season. Next time, we'll work on who has a chance of actually living all the way to the end.