Further Evidence toward a Theory of Rita Pavone

Mentioning My Name is Potato in the immediately previous post led me toward the related Rita Pavone videos, which reveal that the enthusiastic energy she poured into her ode toward potatoes seems to be a general trademark of her performance style; in this video she gets equally excited about Tuscan tomato soup, so much so that she appears to have joined (or at least, donned) some sort of paramilitary outfit to celebrate it.

The ebullience and willingness to expend it in honor of foodstuffs, combined with the elfin frame and frankly rather captivatingly large eyes, all lead to the conclusion that she may have been some sort of commercial mascot sprite in search of a product.

Wha - what...?

...no really, what the hell?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk2wViKSh_M

Don't think you've got the idea after just a few seconds, either. It gets even stranger.

Is this...kinky? Is it comedy? Is there any rational explanation at all, or is it actually Japanese?

The video's provenance is as baffling as its content; this comment on reddit seems to be the most detailed information available anywhere*.

It's been a while since I was literally struck speechless by anything online -- though My Name is Potato came close (it's not so much the song itself, as the passion Rita Pavone pours into it) -- so for that a salute. It's probably for the best that we don't get to see a boss battle here.

---

* "anywhere" = "on the first page of results from a single Google search"

Next on the List is 'A Touch of Zen'

Looking at an archive of movie reviews, I noticed these three titles in succession:

A DAY AT THE RACES

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA

A STUDY IN TERROR

And I can't help but think that a Marx Brothers film called A Study in Terror would probably have been awesome.

Small Cold-Blooded Creatures Express Interest in Your Insurance Premiums

By what path 'online auto insurance sales' became such a prominent genre of TV advertisement I'm not sure, but there's some kind of shared wavelength effect going on -- something like the force that makes 'someone wants to steal the cereal' the almost universal children's cereal ad -- that drives the four or five competitors in this niche field toward very similar campaigns and marketing approaches.

For one there's the creation of grating mascots and a desperate, desperate effort to cling to the illusion that they are gaining popularity and acquiring a name value of their own. These various campaigns are so nakedly begging the audience to please please please like their mascots that I can't help but wonder whether they wouldn't be better off rethinking the whole mascot approach.

They're all just awful: Justin Case, the excruciatingly dull Rocket Scientist, the bizarre Joan Cusack automaton operating Progressive's store in the Featureless White Void, and (you're not surprised) fanart favorite Erin Esurance. And of course, Geico's theme-park-worthy character pantheon: the Gecko, and The Money You Could Be Saving, and those fucking awful Cavemen, which they're still re-using in new commercials even after their wet fart of an effort to market the damn makeup jobs as a sitcom became a warning that even within the field of quick-sinking network failures, there is ignominy.

(No, really, I actually saw this disgrace with my own eyes, during the four-second interval in which it existed. The Cavemen sitcom -- I was going to link to Wikipedia's entry on it, but it's far too favorable and never even mentions excrement -- starts with a narration that tells us that "Cavemen have been with you all along", showing how there were Cavemen in, for instance, ancient Egypt and the American revolution. There is so much wrong with just this first ten seconds that I don't think I can really do justice to a full review of Cavemen's atrocities until I save up to buy a larger bullwhip.)

But anyway, there's a particular habit I was intending to write about, way up there when I wrote the clever headline; to wit, openly selling advertising space in the middle of their advertisements. Certainly this kind of cross-marketing is not without precedent, but I think Esurance broke some kind of new ground when they actually ran a ten-second ad for Star Trek in the middle of one of their thirty-second ads for Esurance.

Not to be outdone, Geico has kindly agreed to let Disney promote their new film The Princess in the Frog during one of their own Gecko-based advertisements -- which must be quite some favor, since at least on the channels I watch, it appears that some kind of magical curse has prevented Disney from putting out any direct ads for this release at all; thus far the only promotion I've seen for it on TV has been similarly embedded in other ads or shows. It's a strange approach to advertising, as though Disney's marketing people have the sinking gut feeling that they may be promoting this decade's Song of the South.

In any case, before I came wandering all the way out here into the bog of dreadful online-auto-insurance ads, all I had really intended to post was my initial reaction to the combination Geico Gecko / Princess and the Frog ad: I don't think the association is helping either of them.

Dear lovely one,

This turned up in the message box of my account at the Cracked.com, which provenance makes me wonder whether it's really a genuine scam, or someone faking a scam, which would presumably in some way be different. Here's the message:

From : Melanie Ibrahim
Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire

My E mail : m2009ibrahim@yahoo.co.th


Dear lovely one,
Pardon me for not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before making you this offer and it is utterly confidential and genuine by
virtue of its nature. I want someone like you to help me out after i had pray ,then believes that you are a good person and that i can stay with you for the rest of my life , am 22 years old lady , My late dad is a wealthy and successful business man before he died , My mum died when i was a baby , am the only child in the family.

Before the death of my dad , he called me secretly in the private hospital where he was admitted and inform me to run away from his house because of his blood brother, who is my uncle, It was on that day, my dad revealled to me that , it was his brother who poisoned him to this level .

Inshort, he seriously warn me to keep this money secretly because he know that, it was because of all his wealth and properties, his brother decided to kill him so that he can inherit all this properties as i am a girl , My dad disclose to me that traditionally,i don't suppose to get any of his properties because i am a girl , He said soonest, i am going to marry to another family but due to his brother wickedness and greedy, he did not disclose to him about this money ( us dollars10.5 million ) in the bank and he seriously advise me to transfer this total money to oversea account for my investment, where i will start my new life and finish my education , Because of this reason, i am soliciting your assistance for the claim and transfer to your bank account for the business.

Honestly speaking , i am ready to give you 15percent of this total money for your assistance and with extra 5percent for your expenses on phone call, please u reply me now if really serious to help me out so that i can tell you more about my intention.

Anyway,you can not understand anything now because it is a long story but please and please for God sake , reply me so that i can tell you more about myself and the transfer.

Best Regards,

Melanie Ibrahim

Perhaps I should reply her now since ,after all, not only can I not understand anything now but she ,did apologize for not having the pleasure of knowing my mindset and it, is an utterly confidential offer and genuine by virtue of its nature.

Something about the thoroughly mangled grammar, the whimsically placed commas, and the fact that this is showing up in a Cracked.com message box, however, all seem almost too ideally comical. I suspect, in other words, that whoever sent this message hoping for gullible replies to serve their own purposes is not in fact the person sending the message hoping for gullible replies to serve their own purposes that they are purporting to be.

Welcome to Wherever You Are

Humor me for a moment and envision something: in darkened surroundings, a woman looks downward to something in her hands, something which emits a soft blue radiance, illuminating her features dramatically from below.

Not an entirely unfamiliar image, is it? You've probably seen some variation of the concept on any number of fantasy paperback covers and movie posters -- it's got to be at least as common as 'guy holding sword over head'.

Tonight I sat in the lowering evening on the porch behind a local coffee shop, and looked up at one point to see exactly this scene: soft blue radiance, dramatic underlighting, expression of slightly amused concentration. Of course, the woman I was sitting with wasn't doing anything really magical -- just using her phone to communicate with a friend across a great distance. Nothing to think twice about.

Walking home, rather toward the bus stop toward home, I passed a well-lit soccer field and saw a bunch of Mexicans playing cricket, a game I don't think I've ever previously ever actually witnessed in person.

Then I found a dime.

I went to a restaurant near home, had some beer, and managed to spend no more than five dollars more than I really should have. I got a dessert for free.

Tonight I turned thirty-six. I don't know how long my current job will last and I'm not entirely sure what's going to become of my current apartment lease. Things, in general, seem to happen almost entirely at random. But tonight has been really good.

Well, I'm Speechless

This is clearly the purpose of film.