Dear Netflix,

No, 'Session 9' is not an adequate substitute for 'Hellraiser'. The only thing for which 'Session 9' is an adequate substitute is Unisom.

Moreover, your contention that Top Picks for me, personally, should include 'Moonstruck' and 'The Secret Garden' comes close to direct insult. Put any more Cher on that list and I shall be forced to demand satisfaction with pistols.