Okay, Here's the Pitch...

...you know, just in case producers are randomly trolling obscure blogs in hopes of finding unsolicited concepts.

Further Evidence toward a Theory of Rita Pavone

Mentioning My Name is Potato in the immediately previous post led me toward the related Rita Pavone videos, which reveal that the enthusiastic energy she poured into her ode toward potatoes seems to be a general trademark of her performance style; in this video she gets equally excited about Tuscan tomato soup (apologies ahead of time, incidentally, for getting this tune into your head, where it will not leave) -- so excited that she appears to have joined some sort of paramilitary outfit, or at least donned one, to celebrate it.

This ebullience, and the willingness to expend it in honor of foodstuffs, combined with the elfin frame and frankly rather captivatingly large eyes, all lead to the conclusion that she may be some sort of commercial mascot sprite in search of a product.

Wha - what...?

...no really, what the hell?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk2wViKSh_M

Don't think you've got the idea after just a few seconds, either. It gets even stranger.

Is this...kinky? Is it comedy? Is there any rational explanation at all, or is it actually Japanese?

The video's provenance is as baffling as its content; this comment on reddit seems to be the most detailed information available anywhere*, and the only thing it makes clear is that this is an intentionally bizarre mash-up.

It's been a while since I was literally struck speechless by anything online -- though My Name is Potato came close (it's not so much the song itself, as the passion Rita Pavone pours into serenading a cartoon tuber) -- so for that, a salute, I guess. The most perplexing thing about Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend, perhaps, is that it's just so damn plausible as a clip from some Japanese or possibly Korean video game (for instance, is URML really any more bizarre than the very existent Boon-Ga Boon-Ga?); all in all, it's probably for the best that we don't get to see a boss battle here.

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* "anywhere" = "on the first page of results from a single Google search"

Next on the List is 'A Touch of Zen'

Looking at an archive of movie reviews, I noticed these three titles in succession:

A DAY AT THE RACES

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA

A STUDY IN TERROR

And I can't help but think that a Marx Brothers film called A Study in Terror would probably have been awesome.

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P.S. (several days later): Same goes for a Queen album.

Small Cold-Blooded Creatures Express Interest in Your Insurance Premiums

By what path 'online auto insurance sales' became such a prominent genre of TV advertisement I'm not sure, but there's some kind of shared wavelength effect going on -- something like the force that makes 'someone wants to steal the cereal' the almost universal children's cereal ad -- that drives the four or five competitors in this niche field toward very similar campaigns and marketing approaches.

Dear lovely one,

This turned up in the message box of my account at the Cracked.com, which provenance makes me wonder whether it's really a genuine scam, or someone faking a scam, which would presumably in some way be different. Follow the link for spam!