Hoozits and Whatsits Galore

Wow, three months since the last post. It has been one king HELL of a three-month period however, and there is a string of fascinating stories to share about where I've been lo these many days. So naturally, here's an unrelated post about cartoon nudity.



This little research study began when a character in a movie I was watching with some friends kept demanding "aerial photographs", so I quickly hit up Google Images to get some "Ariel" photographs. Stupid joke, but then a comment in response led to a rather surprising observation, what with the internet and all: with SafeSearch off, searching the name of a popular character, we rather expected to hit what you might call the more adult kind of fan art within the first few pages of results. The Internet Is For Porn, right?

So I went on to the second page, and no, still no topless mermaid. Nor on the next, nor the next...in the end, it wasn't until the thirty-seventh results page that an image of Ariel with her seashells off appeared. This was unexpected, at least, so we began checking on the PTT (Pages To Tits) ratings for various other characters.

The raw data is presented below without analysis, only brief commentary. Future installments will feature non-Disney characters, and eventually -- if my attention span ever flutters back over to the topic, or if anyone in the universe appears interested -- we'll get around to theory and extrapolation from the data.

(Methodology: The name of the character is entered into Google Image Search, and the 'next' link at the bottom is followed until an image appears showing that character with at least one visible nipple. Searches in which explicit sexual imagery comes up earlier are noted, but the PTT rating is based on the strict nipple criterion. Moreover, it must be an image of the Disney character specifically -- for instance, several nude photographs labelled "Sleeping Beauty" did not count, nor did an antique woodcut of a topless Pocahontas. It was decided that a photograph of an appropriately exposed live human who was costumed as the character would count, but only once did such a costumed image turn up before the cartoon nudity.

Except where otherwise noted, a result of FAIL was recorded on the 50th page of results, as Google does not display more than 1,000 results per search.

And finally, we observed that the same search on two different computers, and sometimes the same search repeated on the same computer, turned up different sets of image results and thus different PTT's, even when the number of images displayed per page was the same. Your results may vary, should you decide to follow this line of research. The PTT cannot therefore be considered a precise measurement, but an approximation with an error margin of usually not more than three in either direction.)

So, the PTT ratings for various characters, as of June 27 2010:

Disney Princesses
The following characters are all part of the "Princesses" merchandising / advertising line, as defined by their presence on the official "Disney Princess" website.

Ariel = 37
Sleeping Beauty = FAIL
"Disney Sleeping Beauty" = 34
"Disney Aurora" = 18 (she appears, nude but unexposed, in an image featuring several other naked Princesses at p10)
Belle = FAIL
"Disney Belle" = 3
Cinderella = 49
"Disney Cinderella" = 18
Jasmine = 6
"Disney Jasmine" = 3
Mulan = 15
Pocahontas = 45
"Disney Pocahontas" = 3
Snow White = 49
"Disney Snow White" = 26 (this was the sole live photo in costume mentioned above)
Tiana = 45? (averaged result -- nude with partial side exposure on p44, full frontal on p46)
"Disney Princesses" = 49 (note that after 48 squeaky-clean pages, p49 of this search was a wall of Princess porn)

Demi-Princesses
These characters are not apparently part of the Official Princess line, at least not as of now, but they do occasionally appear in related material and have certain "Princessy" qualities, at least in a merchandise-imprinting sense.

"Alice in Wonderland" = 49
"Disney Alice" = 43
Esmeralda = 38
"Disney Esmeralda" = 2
"Disney Jane" (Tarzan) = 1
Kidagakash (Atlantis: The Lost Empire) = FAIL (although for some reason this search turned up two solid pages of unrelated cartoon porn at the end of the results)
Kida = 12 (explicit imagery at p2)
"Lady and the Tramp" = FAIL (explicit sexual imagery at p32)
Lilo = 34 (AGGH MY EYES IT BURN)
"Disney Lilo" = 3
"Lilo & Stitch Nani" (search for Lilo's sister Nani) = 2
Maid Marian = 8
"Disney Maid Marian" = 2
Megara (Hercules) = 2
Nala = 2 (Yes, Nala from The Lion King. Yes, with humanlike nipples exposed. Yes, this result got the biggest laugh out of your humble researcher, and yes, your brain does hurt.)
Tinkerbell = 18 (Surprising, given that of all the 'headliners' here, Tink has by far the highest proportion of fan-art to 'official' art in early results pages)
Wendy = FAIL (Too many Wendys in the world. Called fail at 20; Disney's Wendy didn't show up at all till p11)
"Peter Pan Wendy" = 27

Not Princesses
Villainesses, characters from films released outside the Disney imprint (e.g. Touchstone), and other female characters who would probably do the princesses serious harm if they crossed paths.

Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet) = 1.5? (averaged result -- nude with partial side exposure on p1, full frontal p2)
"Disney Cruella DeVille" = 16
Jessica Rabbit = 4 / 10 (split result -- the image at p4 portrays Jessica if she were both a cartoon rabbit, and naked; 'human' Jessica doesn't get a nude shot till p10)
"Disney Mad Madame Mim" (The Sword in the Stone) = 45
"Disney Madame Medusa" (The Rescuers) = 1
Malificent = 3
"Disney Miss Bianca" (The Rescuers) = 1
"Sally Nightmare" (that is, Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas) = 36 (explicit imagery from p18)
Lady Tremaine (Cinderella's stepmother -- who knew this?) = 5
Ursula = FAIL (Called at p20 due to an excess of other Ursulas, notably Ms. Andress)
"Disney Ursula" = 4
"Disney Wicked Queen" = 26

On the Tube
...and in short subjects, comics, DTV productions, and so forth. Characters not originally from theatrical feature films.

Daisy Duck = 6 / 31 (split result -- p6 image features revamped Daisy from the series Quack Pack; "classic" Daisy appears at p31)
"Disney Fairies" = Semi-Fail -- last page of results features images of Tinkerbell specifically, who has her own rating above, but none of the other "Disney Fairy" characters.
Gadget Hackwrench (Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers) = 1
Gosalynn Mallard (Darkwing Duck) = 2 (explicit sexual imagery from the very first image, however)
Sunni Gummi = 3 (explicit imagery starting p1)
Grammi Gummi = 1 (!!)
Kim Possible = 1, extremely 1 (with a special credit for the explicit list of suggested searches that come up when the name is typed in)
Magica DeSpell (DuckTales) = 1
Minnie Mouse = 43
Princess Calla (Gummi Bears) = 1
Rebecca Cunningham (TailSpin) = 1

Appendix: Pixar

Elastigirl = 3 (explicit imagery starting p1)
Helen Parr = 1
"Violet Incredibles" = 1
Violet Parr = 2
"Mirage Incredibles" = 1
"Eva Wall-E" = FAIL (although there are a handful of explicit sexual images on the last result page, they don't anthropomorphosize the robot in question)
"Collette Ratatouille" = 2
"Sally Cars" = FAIL (though there are several explicit sexual images, none are anthropomorphic to the necessary degree)
"Pixar Bo-Peep" = 1
"Pixar Jessie" (Toy Story 2) = 1
"Pixar Celia" (Monsters, Inc. -- Mike's snaky girlfriend) = 1 (first goddamned image on the first page in fact)



And that's it for the first installment. Stay tuned for more mind-numbing horror in the name of science!